Some days i just feel like dressing up.
When i say "dressing up", i really mean.....
adding an acessory to my regular -torn jeans and a tee.
Today i decided to welcome the change in weather by
throwing on a light weight scarf and.....
here is where the story turns and the glamour fades ever so quickly.
We made our daily park debut. This time it was the park on Ninth.
All was well.....
and then this foul odor began to fill the air.
I curled my nose and looked around for the cause of such an offensive stench.
It was Horrific.
It was my child.
Kie had brewed up somethin awful and it was time to go!
I didnt have a diaper or wipes with us.
So i gathered my 17 children
(ok, there are only 3 but it was hard work. 2 steps forward towards the car
= 3 steps back toward the slide.)
Safely in the car, i reallized that our Bailey dog was not in there with us.
i had to get out and beg the kids to stay buckled while i searched for the dog.
I walked around like the village idiot- hooping and hollering, clapping my
hands and whistling......
Yelling out "here good girl...c'mon bailey bailers!"
(my voice cracking in high pitch).
Turns out that there is a Highschool behind the park and
Bailey was running track with 3rd period gym class.
The kids were having a good old time.
The coach was not amused.
I was mortified.
Turns out also that i look like a highschool kid.
The coach started walking over to me and i just grabbed the dog and headed...
He yelled for me....."hey! Where should you be right now?"
I kept walking. I'm a rebel, i know.
SO WE WERE OFF TO THE STORE ....
across the street so i could quickly change the diaper that
i was sure was burning a hole through kie's flesh.
It smelled like it could have.
We got the diapers and wipes and some Beudreau's Butt Paste
(yes, it's really called that)
and went straight to the restroom in the grocery store.
I removed the diaper and unleashed the beast. I went town. It was a mess!
My -super cute tribute to Fall scarf - swung forward and the Beast grabbed hold of it.
My scarf was stuck to her murky, chunky, stinky bum.
To even get it off of my neck.... i was gonna have to untie it.
WHICH REQUIRES THE POOPY END TO PASS RIGHT BY MY FACE.
but dont worry, i didnt have to deal with it right then. i couldnt have , though i wanted badly to.
Kie was hanging on for dear life on top of the suspending changing table.
(she hates them)
With the said diaper off and all the wipes wadded up in side it....
i threw it in to the nearby trashcan....... did i say in?
I missed. It opened back up. I had to bend down and pick up
the dirty sprawling wipes..
AND JUST AS I DID....
the stylish Fall scarf dipped into the toilet.
no more fashion for me.
It is not condusive to motherhood duties.
Yes, the removing of the-- super cute fall fashion scarf -- left a Poo trail
on various parts of my skin and my shirt................
What's that country song? "you're gonna miss this"
Yah..... Not all of it!
THE Lemonade: I'll be saving money jumping off the trends wagon!