Goodbye little Brother

                                            In Loving Memory of 

                   Our little   Brother ...                                                              

Roger Lee Scherf Jr.

My heart is so FULL right now.

I have been avoiding my blog like it's the plague...

because the happenings of late have been....

...a mixture of  extreme sadness and

extreme beauty.

(does that make any sense??? it will in a minute i promise!)

SO either one that i talk about will have me

bawling like a little baby.

Two weeks ago ..march 19th...

I got a phone call from my father, Roger Scherf  Sr.,

he was in hysterics...

RJ , Roger Jr.,  was  in a horrible car accident...

He was in Madigan Hospital on the Army Base of 

Fort Lewis...

He was pronounced brain dead.

He was on life support.

Not expected to make it much longer...

The military was picking my father up to get him

to Washington  A.S.A.P. 

If he left immediately..he might make it to say goodbye

to his son...my little brother...RJ

He was packed and waiting when the military phoned to say

that the plane ticket had been cancelled...

Sr.  and   Jr. that is one proud papa!

It was too Late.....RJ was gone...

We were all devastated...especially for my

father and Rj's mom...

They were not going to be able to hold their

sons hand one last time... tell him they loved him once more....

Then ...just hours later....  another call came in...

It was a misunderstanding...

RJ was  still alive....

on life support.. but still holding onto life.

It was a beautiful Miracle!

Just hours after My dad and RJ's mom got to the

hospital  they held a small service in honor of RJ...

There was a Vigil in that hospital room that night.

30 or more of RJ's fellow soldiers and

friends were their to say their goodbyes as well.

A prayer was offered up to Heaven...

RJ was in bad shape....it was his time to go...

Lori, Rj's mom,  told him he could go...

she thanked him for holding on til they could say goodbye...

As the prayer ended....and the words...

"in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN,".... were uttered...

Roger Lee Scherf Jr....took his very last breath on this Earth.

He returned to his Heavenly Father on March 20th,2011.

He had just turned 21 the week before....

He had just married a month before....

He was so young...It was very confusing...

In late 2009 he was in Afghanistan and his platoon was

hit by one of the largest IED bombs  ever recorded...

He was driving the HUM V...

All of his men and their interpreter...

were killed....

RJ was the only survivor.

Surely there must have been something more in store for

this amazing young man....

He was spared ...it was a miracle for sure...

the vehicle was destroyed...

He had brain damage...a badly injured leg...

a severely lacerated tongue...and a mouth full of broken teeth...

But ....

HE WAS ALIVE!

A short year and a half later....

He was recovering well...

physically....

but struggling to hang in there emotionally..

survivors guilt...His platoon brothers were gone...

he had seen horrible things....

His heart was in a lot of pain...

And now he too is gone....

He survived the Taliban but an icy road got the best of him...

It seemed so wrong.

But here's the thing....

In the last year and a half....

RJ became very close to the mothers and fathers of his

fellow soldiers who never made it home from that war.

He was their last connection to the sons that they

would never see again...

He told those boy's stories...

He gave their parents something to hold onto and  the chance to have some closure... to let go...

 to heal their broken hearts.

Rj was a true hero!!!

To our Country and to those families...

He is My Hero.

I will never be the same again....

I have so much more gratitude for what those boys

and men do for us....

Rj did not become a soldier...he was born one.

They see too much....

things noone should ever have to witness...

and they do it all for us...

for you and me...

We are free because of them.

As his Seargents and fellow soldiers shared

their stories of RJ and their love for his Humor that

"kept them all going"...

My Patriotism just grew by leaps and bounds.

RJ as a boy...in camo...as always!  ;)

God Bless America...

and  our little brother..

RJ

xoxo  shell

links to articles on RJ:

Roger Scherf http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2011/03/turn_the_page_friend_of_fallen.html

My absolute FAVORITE ONE:    http://www.bellinghamherald.com/2011/04/03/1948911/cut-short-2nd-chance-still-a-gift.html

http://www.operationward57.org/2011/03/spc-roger-scherf/



 

P.S.  thank your soldiers every chance you get....
you never know when you won't  be able to anymore!

A Wierd Happy

 AS OF fRIDAY, fEB 25TH.....

We the People  ...(the hawkers)

are no LONGER HOME OWNERS!

yep!!!

WE ARE ELATED to report....

we sold our home!!!

(goodbye friend..you served us well.)

after a very,very,very, long and grueling

2 years....  IT'S GONE!!!

We are experiencing minor feelings

of sadness at the loss of our beloved home and nieghborhood...but mostly we are:

relieved, at peace, thrilled, and excited

at the possibilities that await us!

We even looked through a few model homes
last night durning our date...

(just dreaming)

I have been pushing myself for the 

past couple of trying years...not to ask the

questions like..  "why me?"   but to

replace those dooming thoughts with

more hopeful ones.... like

"WHAT'S NEXT?"

i can't lie down and die with so much left to be done.....

HOPE  is all i had some days....

With so much weighing us down...

job changes and financial stress and

losing a home.....

it would have been easy to retreat into

the rut and dwell there...

But the stuff worth anything good in this life...

IS NEVER EASY!

I am NOT perfect....

at all....

not even a little bit close to it....

sometimes the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning was...

the excitement to buy a new decorating magazine...
a great movie i wanted to see

or to just surprise a friend with a cupcake...

totally worldly ,  i know...

but hey...i did what i could and prayed for

the strength for the rest!

nope...i'm not a perfect friend, or mom, or

wife or daughter....

but boy do i wanna be some day!

i want to be comfortable in the presence of

my Savior and my Heavenly Father...

the only 2 perfect beings i know.

so i will give it my all while i am here

and have the chance....

Sooo

We do our best and hang on to hope for the rest!


xoxo  shell


 

Childhood Should be Magical

I BELIEVE this from the very most bottom~est

Part of my HEART!

I struggle with depression....

just minor im sure...

but i have to REFUSE the urge to curl up in

a cozy ball  in my cozy bed all day.

I have 3 precious little gifts from HEAVEN that

are watching me.....

RELYING on me....

and most of all....

EXPECTING  Magical things to happen each day!

Afterall....

they only get the special wonder of

childhood ONCE!

a big smile when they walk in the room....

a tiny kiss on the forehead...

for no reason at all...

a song before bed...

our eye contact  while they talk...

our heads off

;)

 It's just the simple small things...

throw in a balloon once n a while

and there you have it!

Pure Magic!

Every new day holds an untold ADVENTURE....

The POSSIBILTIES are endless!

 

As SIMPLE or as Lavish as you please.

Don't let the years slip by.....

This very moment ~  that is all we have for sure.

Make it count.

and REMEMBER:

LIFE's An Hour Glass

xoxo shell

Feelin Good...

I have been feelin' good.

real honest to goodness...

 good.

and that  is kinda a big deal for me right now.

Dont get me wrong.....

I feel good a lot.

I just have to work really hard at it lately.

but i plain old REFUSE to just stay in a rut.

REFUSE,    I  SAY!

i fight for happiness....

if it aint comin easy....

well...

then it's comin hard....

cuz i like being happy.

sometimes you just gotta ...

MAKE HAPPY HAPPEN.

so anywho...

that is why i'm so geeked to be

FEELIN' GOOD

without all the hard work of tricking myself into it.

:)

i am floating around doing a deep clean on the house...

my kids are sooo sick with the flu...

my sale of my home is put on hold

(some more)   grrr

due to flooding ...

and did i mention i am sick...

and despite all of this...

i feel good.

i feel lifted up...

like on the wings of Angels.

OH YES..

and my dumptruck driver broke down on the side of the road

a good 50 miles from home and it cost me...

A  PRETTY PENNY

to fix....

but still....

I FEEL LOVED.

BLESSED.

SOOO  BLESSED.

I love me some life.

hard.

easy.

pukey.

fun.

tedious.

I'll take it all just for one more day

with the ones i love!

Here is to your happiness.

whether it's comin easy or hard these days...

CHEERS!

xoxo  shell

Onward and Upward Friends

                                                                                  

Forgive me this my friends....

i need but a moment to log my reallity check....

It is 11:33 pm ....

My heart is so full and my mind running rampant...

during our routine bedtime couple's prayer...

My hubby mentioned his gratitude for

our Father in Heaven watching over us for the past 2 and a half years through all our trials...

THIS FREAKED ME OUT!

i couldnt breath... and my eyes filled up...

Two and a half years ago it became evident that

our comfy, cooshy, life was about to take some

twists and turns...

(AND LET ME JUST SAY:

IT HAS BEEN A WILD RIDE)

We went from a dream house with large beautiful

yard to hotel rooms in unfamiliar parts of the country....

presently, we reside in a bbbbbb

(sorry, it's hard for me to spit it out sometimes..)

bbb-basement.

bitter  tasting words on my tongue

We sold our  successful company, our nice cars,

our fancy home, our fun toys ( 4 wheelers)....

we made sacrifices of huge proportions.

There were a lot of "boo hoo's"

and "oh woe is me's"

but we are

STRONG.

We are not your average "give up and go home" Joe's...

No siree bob!

We have trudged our way through

uncertainty and change and sacrifice

and HUMBLE PIE ....

Lot's of unfavorable HUMBLE PIE.

and we have done it TOGTHER!

AS A FAMILY.

AS A TEAM....

 Along with our SAVIOR of course.

every step of the way.

WITH OUR HEADS HELD HIGH.

(mostly)

and without tears.

SIKE!!!!

THERE WERE A LOT OF TEARS.

SERIOUSLY.

LIKE....

A LOT.

(HEY , LET A GIRL MOURN HER OLD

COZY LIFE...WOULD YA!)

but in all honesty...

my heart is more full of thanks and

gratitude then ever before.

i recognize each and every simple blessing...

however small and sweet.

I have learned so much about life...about money...

about .....  ME.

I am one tough cookie.

I  have been part way to hell and back....

(well... almost back...)

( give me til May ok!)

It's true...I cannot take all the credit for my

toughness...

I am nothing without my Savior Jesus Christ.

We are nothing without Him.

I  knew we had been through a very rough year....

I just didnt reallize that it had been 2 and a half!

HOLY COW!

No wonder i am soooo tired.

I went from 29 to 65 in two years flat.

I just had to bear my little testimony...

that there is

HOPE.

In all things there is hope.

The sun will come out tomorrow.

The best is yet to come.

Let us never give up hope.

We are strong.

through Him weak things are made strong.

I know this is true.

Onward and Upward my friends!

On our knees looking upward.

I say these things...in the name

of Jesus Christ...

Amen!



xoxo  the Hawkers!

Fashion Savvy Youngstas

Lou Lou had a sleep over

this weekend.

The girls decided they wanted to be fashion designers.



They wanted to make a real dress!

(so guess who got to make a dress.....hmmmm)

:)

We took an existing tank top and hand sewed it

to the pink and black polka dot fabric.

The girls each took turns puttin on the dress while

the other one added thier own touches to the design!

They loved learning how to sew by hand...

and i loved teachin em!

 

this is them at the end of their fashion show....

(....and this is how they normal look.....)

ha ha LOL...JK

It turned out pretty cute...

but then they started talking about who got to

wear it to church/school first......

HA HA HA

that was my Cue to leave the room.....

love those lil ladies!

xoxo  shell



Labours of Love

Happy Labour Day Weekend to YOU!

These are a few "labors" of Love i just had to share.....

Do you see that uggggly camper in the background ?

Well....

believe it or not....

that hunk o' uggggly just happens to be my

Prized Vintage Camper!

I begged hubby for her...

and surprisingly got my way...back in May.

I did a lot of work inside Her Majesty...

(thats her name)

....

But this weekend....

I "LABOuRED" over her exterior!

First she got a white prime job to cover that uggg blue...

and then:

She recieved 2 lovely coats of

Happiness!!!!!

She is a 1969 road runner....

and she has been given New Life this weekend!

The inspiration for the paint color came from

My Lou Lou's eyes...

and you thought you needed front teeth to eat corn

on the cob.....LOL

Not this girl....

where there's a will there's a way...

We have been "labouring" over grampa's

corn jungle for quite some time now....

and

FINALLY:

iT'S time to EnjOY the

FruiTS of our Labours!!!!!

Now Performing...

Lou and Bff performed at a care center

on wednesday....

they danced amazingly well...

but i was the PROUD MAMA  afterwards...

when they stayed to talk to all the men and women who

live there.  They must get so lonely...

The girls were like little  angels chatting with

and hugging them all.

Kie has seen lou practice so much ...that she could dance along

to the performance step for step.

....

and spring was in the air...

so the forts were built outside today.

i love childhood forts!

taking the time to love my babies today.

letting them know how much they mean to me.

xoxo  shell